Shoot 'em up

I am going to state this as plainly as I can: I do not like guns.  I’m originally from the United States where a vast majority of citizens believe that:

 

A.)   Owning a gun is an inalienable right of every citizen.  Especially guns that would make Rambo blush.

B.)   The nacho cheese sold at American football games is delicious.

C.)    A zombie apocalypse is not only possible, it is imminent and please refer back to point ‘a’.

 

As a logical person and one with no small amount of common sense, I believe that any society that believes in points ‘b’ and ‘c’ cannot possibly be correct about owning a firearm as a basic political right.  Free healthcare, yes.  Mechanical contraptions that cause death with extreme prejudice and ease, no.  I have never fired a gun in my life and have never wanted to fire a weapon.  That is, until last Sunday.  And to my even bigger surprise, I enjoyed it!       

 

Let me set the scene for you.  It’s last Sunday morning.  I’m staying at my friend’s vacation house high in the hills above Polis bay in Cyprus.  I had a tremendous hangover.  I woke up and stumbled into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and suddenly I had an unloaded shotgun thrust into my arms.  “Ever shoot one of these?”, he asked me.  “Nope”, I said.  “Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

 

Twenty minutes later we’re walking through the fields below his house as he’s explaining how you strip the gun, put it back together, load it, hold it, aim, and shoot.  “What am I supposed to shoot?”, I ask.  He looked around, picked up a discarded Coke can and threw it high in the air.  I quickly pull the butt of the gun off my hip, shouldered it, aimed and BANG! 

 

I missed, of course.  And once the ringing in my ears stopped I noticed that my hangover was gone.  Maybe that was the adrenaline that was now coursing through my veins?  Who knows!  All I knew was I was ready to try it again.  I’d like to say I got better, but over the next hour of moving target practice I hit exactly nothing.  This fired up my competitive nature and now I want to go to a shooting range to practice.  I wouldn’t say that I’m a total convert, I have no plans to own a gun in the future or go hunting, but shooting clay pigeons like you can on one of our activities in Riga and Prague?  Or fire an AK-47 at a range in Krakow and Prague?  Sign me up!  It’s a serious adrenaline rush!  Now excuse me while I go reevaluate that nacho cheese…

Three day holiday weekend in Cyprus

After a hectic summer period it was about time the guys and I had a weekend away. Up until now we were used to going away within Europe, being Budapest and Krakow, but this time we thought of keeping it local and headed towards Pafos.

The plan was for us six guys to rent out a villa, have all the food and booze required for our stay, and to hang out by the pool when we had time to kill. On that front, time wasn’t much of a luxury as hanging out and getting a little breather were a commodity given that our three day stay was intensified with activities to do from the start.

On Thursday, the first day of our stay, we arrived at our villa at 3 p.m. and begun to unpack. Given it was 35 degrees Celsius outside we all agreed we had to dip into the pool. So out came the corona’s and in we jumped. By then we had already felt that we are actually away from home. Time for play, pranks, immature jokes, guy talk and of course a little competition in the pool.

We came up with a bright idea of playing water polo. Considering the combined I.Q. level of the group and the drinking to add to that, we didn’t find anybody objecting to it. Of course there were modified rules since none of us had the slightest knowledge of the game. Now, verbal abuse was allowed, as was choking and drowning the opposition. Two minutes into the game you could see how serious some of us were taking it. Boys will be boys. I can swear by the end of it we drank so much pool water that it was just pouring out of our noses. Getting out of the pool was the hard bit. We actually had a decent work out to the extent that we dragged our way to the sunbeds, popping open some more bottles and just lying down in the summer heat.

By 7 p.m. we had to be well rested and ready for our first main activity. We had booked for go-karting, and it was going to be at a pretty unusual track. This track boasts 1600 metres in length, a tunnel, a bridge, and combining that with the 35-40 mile karts top speed along with the sharp turns we were in for a load of drifting. We had made the track our own. Competition was going to be stiff and the adrenaline levels were high. You could tell from the start line and that smirk on everyone’s face that by the end of it the only way you were going to get away from the banter was by ending up first place.

During the race tension was high. By that time the sun was down and the floodlights were on, just to give this an extra twist and the ultimate condition. We were all looking for top speed, swerving our way on the tar whilst looking through the rear view mirror to make sure that anyone from behind would not overtake. Going through the tunnel which was placed beneath the bridge was always going to be hard and where the race would be won. The karts would have to slow down in order to turn 180 degrees, so anybody at high speed at that point would just drift into the tyres on the side. Any time that someone would crash into the tyres or one of us would overtake the other there was a little mockery or obscene body language to go with it to provoke the opposition. Home stretch 15 minutes later and nobody in front I knew I would be the one with the largest grin at the end of it. I played it cool, didn’t say a word till later on, and just let the rest of the guys give it out to each other.

We then headed back home and time to get the BBQ ready. As I had said earlier we came well prepared. We threw halloumi, sausages, mushrooms and peppers on the grill and well as some pitta bread to accommodate the dips for our starters. Following that we had some pork and chicken kebab with salad.  Once the food was done out came the rum and vodka along with the poker cards and chips. We had a knockout series and sat on till 4 in the morning although the game itself was pretty much one sided. Winner takes all and our American buddy had the last say.

 

To be continued……

And Then There Was KRAKOW

It was Thursday, 16:30 and it was my turn. Yes, another milestone in my life, and although its importance is a recent phenomenon, it is something that is becoming firmly entrenched as a must-do before you embark upon a life of three day romantic weekends and family holidays.

My stag-do was to take place in Krakow and I had a bucket-load of things to do at work (don't we all?) before leaving. The job was finally done, my week over, and I could fix my attention on what was going to be a long weekend.

I met with the entourage in Liverpool Street and we made our way to Krakow via the comforts that a Ryanair flight and its upright seats can bring.

Thursday night was supposed to be a quiet prelude to the proper start of proceedings on Friday. Boy was I mistaken. A quiet tour of the old city took us to Scandale Royale and a shot fest of chilli vodka at the bar.

 

Friday and the sun was threatening to make its appearance. And what better way to come to our senses with 2 strong coffees and Polish apple pie. After touring the town, we made our way to Pod Baranem - a restaurant near the majestic Wawel castle which overlooks the city which makes some of the best local food in town, including dumplings, stuffed cabbage and Polish style game. We then hit the town for a bar hop which ended in Baccarat with a few bottles of Belvedere and house music.

 

Saturday was about the adrenaline; any hangover was nullified by the madness of a paintball war in a deserted warehouse in East Krakow. Of course, yours truly was on the winning team - given his combat experience - claiming the lives of his opponents over and over again….and again. After winding down, it was club night once more; however not before a trip to the Jewish quarter Kazimierz for some more... vodka shots and some fine local beer. Do go there if in Krakow if you are looking for a more bohemian twist to your stay. The night ended in Burlusque, which is a place I’d recommend for all I could remember of it. Vodka does not do well for your memory!

 

We ended our stay on Sunday with a trip to the Salt mines just outside the city. Do get a guide if you go - they are worth parting your cash for. In two (one synthetic) word: jaw-dropping. A whole town more than 100 metres underground with impressive carvings, ponds underground and places of worship all made in stone!

 

Now you may have figured where I am going with this: Thumbs up to Krakow and definitely a good choice for anyone looking to organise a group event!